ari ni aku malas ah nak type english....leceh siak...aku ni muka aje cine tapi melayu hardcore sial....hehe....tadi nangis lagi sial kat dlm kelas....babi ah....penat seh asyik nangis je....nak tau nape....jap eh...aku type apa yg ku tulis tadi kat dlm lect...'Kenape aku pilih nak turun balik g J1?I mean aku tau ah result tak bagus.Tapi seriously aku cakap eh,i feel so much more miserable right now.Mana nak ingatkan PW,mana nak ingatkan exam,mana nak ingatkan pasal kawan2 aku.Babi ah.aku stress sial....walaupun skarang aku ada kawan2 aru dari kelas ni tapi aku tak le rasakan kemesraan mcm mana aku ada dgn kawan J2 aku.I mean i don't feel comfortable,I can't help myself.And my circles of friends is pathetic....so far aku survuve pasal budak J2 ada...Nanti kalau dorang takde....mampos ah aku....Sakit siak hati bila aku ingatkan....Aku nangis aje.....sial lah aku tak suka ah nangis tapi aku da tak le tahan........apa ke tak,dgn kawan aku tu sume....aku le borak,buat lawak,merepek,happy je without having to think sapa aku ni and apa aku ni....Tapi dgn budak aru2 ni,aku jadi conscious apa aku nak buat,mcm have to show something,have to prove something.Kimek ah......Dorang sume gerek ah...ok la....aku tak nafikan but there's something not right.....i can't open up to them.Dgn diana aku le bilang apa aku nak(except some things la)Aku kenal dia dari sec 1 siak,apa tak close....Dgn shima aku boleh cakap apa2 pun....rahsia ke....pscychological thing things.....Dgn Hidayat,Nurul and Hanisah,aku le bitch around,talk about our interests that we share and we don't.....main-main criticize orang or even each other....kitaorang tak kisah.....Abih dgn budak cine kelas aku dulu(extended family),i feel so comfortable with them although dorang very cine....kau faham2 jelah(manjen)Kau tengok ah,mcm mana aku nak comfortable dengan budak kelas baru ini,i can't really find people to share what i've got with my own friens in J2.Yang buat aku peng ni skarang, is that aku ada pilihan,two choice....to saty in J2 or drop to J1.The decision i made was quite a hasty one.I decide it within a day and spend the next few days that this decision i made is the rite one....nak tukar da tak le sial...aku da bilang pakcik aku...aku nak retain.....i know...i know...this decision would really help me a lot in my studies but then i'm more of people person raher that academic....Seriously aku rasa macam taik sial.....I feel so MISERABLE since the J2 is not in skool(they are having prelims)Arghh i feel so left out in this new situation.I AM SO MISERABLE!!!!!!!!................
Hanim