Sometimes I wonder..how come when your friends come to your house..they suddenly turn modest...very modest..not that they're not modest..but yah at your house or i guess at anyone's house they suddenly turn modest..does this prove to us that humans can change...I guess this change in my friends is for the better..of course they wanna make good impression for their first visit to my house..right?..The point that i wanna make is that humans change given certain situation....take me for instance...Sometimes i feel so schizo,split personality....At home i'm this different person...I turn into a daughter who have to abide to Mum's rule and of course sometimes a girl with that certain degree of rebellion...I'm also the sis-cum-mother to my cousin brother...right now i have somehow given the responsibility for his school affair...Everything about his school have to come past me...so with him...sometimes i'm this great sis but at times i'm also the bitch he wish would disappear from his life...tell me what the hell am i supposed to do when he's not doing well for school,very easily influenced and naughty(which is common la).....At home too i am forced also to be in between two parties...I'm forced to grow up and understand whatever problems at home..I'm forced to make decision of who's right and who's wrong though they didn't say it..I know..I'm not stupid...But sometimes i just act dumb...I can't be bothered...That's why I love being in school..I'm free from all this all home...But sometimes school too gives me a lot of problems....All the stress...OK ok back to my point....Humans can change...And it's scary coz I hate changes....I knpow i have to change coz change can sometimes be good...I have to learn to adapt to different situations....I'm sure I can...just have to trust HIM.
I've been so busy nowadays yet I haven't really start studying...I need motivation but so far with all the things happening to me I have no interest in studying.I tend to be lethargic....too much thinking and too much playing so that i can forget whatever I'm thinking....I have to buck up...I have to....I guess this is also why i love updating my blog everyday...I get to express it out here....I've been logging on to my blog almost everyday and I'm loving it...it's nice just to write and write whatever you're feeling....I've been focusing a lot on my blog that I don't go to anyone's blog...wonder what they're writing....hehe...I think nothing much coz it's the exam week....Right now I think i shpould log out...Sad to be told...although i have no interest or motivation to study...I have to....Hai
Hanim