I tried to be strong but I guess I'm not strong enough....
I spent these few nights crying...i keep remembering how she were and how she would call out to me in the wee hours..saying she couldn't sleep..I would then reach out my hands to her and just hold her hands till she fall asleep..I used to think that I made her sleep and how she needs me but now I realised that I'm the one who needs her....
How do you cope when you lost your pillar of strength?
I don't... and I can't....
memories of her lingers in my mind...i can't shake it off..I kept seeing her on the bed....I kept seeing how my grandpa stayed by her side as long as he could take it before retiring to bed....I envied their love so much..It may seem my grandparents fought a lot last time but when one of them is sick...their love really showed through....I'd love that...I want my future husband to always be by my side and me too..Insya allah....
The night is here again....and I just wanna break down again....
I miss her terribly.....
Where can I go to now for strength....who can i go to now for support...who's gonna listen to all my problems...who's gonna pacify me when things go rough...who's gonna be there to stroke my head when I just want to cry....who's gonna be my pillar of strength now....
Oh God...please give me the strength i need now...
This is truly a new beginning for me
Hanim