I hate how some guys can make me feel a whole lot of emotions.I hate when some guys can make me feel stupid and look like an idiot.I hate how he can make me go smiley smiley for no reason.I hate how my hearts do go *thump thump* when he's there.I hate how he comes in my sleep and in my daydreams.I hate how I always look forward for him to be there. I hate when some of them makes me fall heads over heel.I know I'm stronger than that.I know I don't have to rely on men but myself coz I learnt that from my mum.I've learnt not to trust men so much but yet they make me so vulnerable at times.I know I can be independent yet I'm very reliant on their presence.I hate it.I hate it

But though I hate how they can make me feel.It always feels euphoric whenever I see them(him) around.For that short moment of pleasure...I always thought to myself...too hell to my hatred.

But when the euphoria dies out...I'm slapped by reality.Who am I to feel all this?I guess that's why I think i'll never make myself fall in love though I'm always looking forward for that "one".Whymust I subject myself to the pain and rejection?Sape la aku ni?Ape la yang ade pada aku ni,hanya setakat nama saje?

this sucks!!!

I asked a friend whether he will choose a girl of his dream or his soul mate...I got this from the Tiramisu trailer.

He said soul mate...I wonder what others would choose...coz I think this is a very good question....
girl/guy of your dream or your soul mate?

I guess many would say soul mate...me too actually...but it just hit me...what if I don't find him?or what if he's there right in front of me and I'm just to scared,or the main reason no confidence at all to tell/love him... coz I'm just damn terrified of the answer/reaction....

Shit...what happen to me today ah....


Suka di kala malam termimipi-mimpi
Rindu di kala siang mencari-cari
Kasih sebenar tidak bertukar
tidak sebentar
walau dipisah lautan direnangi gelora
Dan kadangkala
hanyut bagaikan buah ara
malu sering bersua tapi jarang bersuara
Kenapa bercinta
jika kesudahannya pasrah
Kerana bila dilamun indahnya tidak terkata
Tersimpan hasrat
tiada siapa yang mengerti
Harapan menggunung sampai penghujung dinanti
Dipegangkan janji
tetap ratu di hati
Dengan izin tuhan kan bersama kapan hari pasti
Sabar menanti
Kesabaran diuji
Berdoa dalam sujud sejadah ditangisi
Aku pasrah saja pada yang Esa
Kerna ku tahu
Dua dunia kita berbeza

Kau selalu di hati
tak ku dekati
dua dunia kita berbeza

Hanim