My life is complicated.
People have always thought and see me as this happy,lucky(or as what they would call it..untung kau)laid back,confident girl. But this persona I held comes with a price.Delve deeper into my life and you'll see I should be nowhere what I am or seem to be. But I don't want to be label as a kid with issues nor do I want to be another statistics to the government.I had to be strong,to protect myself and to built something so remarkable for those close to me. I was born to be strong,to be confident,to be a fighter because there's many things against me. But I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting this silent battle within and around myself.
It's hard.The emotional battle I had to go through.It's hard.
Every juncture of my life.I had something and someone to battle with. Life was easy when you're ignorant.It's true what they say- ignorance is truly bliss.Once you reach the age of knowing,there's no turning back. I don't know what i have done but somehow I'm always in the wrong,I'm the bad one. I've been bullied,I've been dissed at,I've been criticised,I've been cursed at.Why? Because someone can't take it that I'm right.Someone think I'm their punching bag.Someone can't stand that I'm doing the right thing.Someone think I think highly of myself.Bullshit. I don't get it.Why?Why do I give this impression?
What's worse is being hurt by the very people you're close with,the one you would had entrusted your life with. The very people who had cajoled you,promised you everything just to one day treat you like the enemy
I've been through all this.
And now I'm just very tired.
Sometimes I wish for someone to save me.Save me from all this madness.
Hanim