I need an intervention.Someone gotta stop me from watching anymore movies.I'm watching way too many movies. I gotta start reading man....
Anyway I watched John Tucker Must Die. I told Jo I want a John Tucker. And Jo being Jo...she reminded me that he cheats. Ermmm....ok...ya he cheats but have you seen John Tucker. He's cute,charming and face it, he's got the package.I mean the whole package...not that package. Then comes the other tucker whom I didn't catch the name at all in th movie. And you know what... I want a Tucker! Haha....the other one was very sweet and kinda nerdy which is also cute...but John Tucker aka Jesse Metcallfe is gorgeous.So how,how to choose like that?
I have a question though. Especially those engaged or married. How do you know when that one is the one? It seems a little daunting to me especially when you're engaged. Like you neither here and there,you know. You're a level higher than just his/her gf/bf but you're neither his/her wife/husband either. The liminal stage.I thought the idea of engagement is scary. Marriage?Don't even try to think what I think.
It's just a bit frightening to me.Ok not a little...very scary to me. How would I know?How do I know if he's the one? To spend my life with him. I'm at a cross-road point about this idea of relationship, especially that point where you'll be called man and wife.Anyway why is it man and wife and not husband and wife?Man not obligated to be a husband is it?Just be the man. Ok digress....anyway ya I'm at a cross-road with this one. I don't know if I would want to get married ,well at least not anytime soon....but at the same time, I don't want to not get married you know....anytime soon considering I am already turning 22. I'm not saying 23,24...More like 26,27..you get what I mean. I know I don't want to get married anytime very soon but I don't want to get married anytime later later too. But hell, how do you know if he's the one?I've seen enough relationship and it always make me wonder...what made them together anyway?And when they do break up...I go what the hell made them separate anyway? And it's even daunting to see how lovey-dovey they were while in that r/s and go all sour after the r/s....Which left me thinking, what if the same happen while in the marriage*touch wood*? Divorce? Which another thing I would never want to experience.Nauzubillah.I've seen my mom and I've experience it as a kid from "broken home"...so I really hope and pray that it'll never happen. But when there's those who made it to marriage. I go what the hell make them wanna get hitched to each other anyway. This relationship thing is always a wonder to me. A double-edged sword even.
OK I'm rambling...And I so know I don't make sense right now....It's just that I really can't fathom right now the complexity of love,relationship and applying HDB flat together. I think I'm relationship-phobe. Coz seriously right now all I can think about is how would and can anyone put themselves out there?To bare your heart and soul, to be in a relationship but can never determined what will happen next- separate or get hitched.Maybe that's why people fall in love, the not knowing what will happen next. A thrill, but not cheap though. I guess I'm just very afraid to put myself out there coz a part of me keep telling me that I'm going to get hurt.That incessant inner thoughts. But seriously...even without these schizo side of me.I think I would still be wondering. How would you know?!
I guess I can only wait huh.
When that time comes, I think I'm gonna write a book.
Confessions of a cynic heart - Cured.
Catchy?
How the hell John Tucker becomes marriage issue ah?Haha...My mind works in a complex way.
For those of you who have put yourself out there. Salut.Coz I know I can never do it....hopefully not till forever. Coz I still want to be Mrs Wentworth/Tucker/Welling/any-other-cute guy-with-killer-smile
Hanim