I am a simple girl, well at least I think I am.
I don't derive pleasure from branded stuff. My idea of shopping is buying the 3 dollar tshirts. Or the occasional online splurge, provided there's the yearly 50% off. The only branded stuffs I owned are gifts from people, and although they are hugely appreciated, the handmade ones gives me just as much pleasure. Sentimentel katakan.
I never thought of chasing anything great materially in life.Yes I have my wishes and dream but there are precisely that. Wishes and dreams. I believe in living the life I want. If great things come my way.Alhamdulilah. I don't crave owning a bungalow or fancy cars or a jetsetting life.I will be happy with a nice simple 4 room flat, for me,my mum and Pipi to stay in. Car,well as much as I love to have one, the real me would never find myself buying one.I am too calculative sometimes. Mahal dok kereta. Travelling is what I really want to do, but I'll be glad to go on one once in a while. Tak dapat pun takpe. Singapore masih banyak lagi tempat belum dijelajahi.
I don't speak fancy english. If you hadn't notice yet(HAHA!), my english can be quite atrocious. Talk to me and you'll hear all the sial-s, siak-s, siol-s, dok-s come up. I am a Malay girl who grow up loving her Malay life afterall.I am not sombong contrary to what people think I am. I am really quite friendly. Sumpah! I just need time to get to know you. Ask my close friends, they know how anti-social I can be in the beginning.But get beyond that, I am the best person you'll ever know. =p
I do think of settling down one day. Have a great husband and children. He doesn't have to be drop dead gorgeous, rich or suave. He just needs to love and respect me and the children. My growing up without a father makes me even determined that I am going to have a happy family, insyaAllah.
My one greatest aim in life is to make my mother happy. Looking at her going to work before the break of dawn, only to return after the sun sets is saddening sometimes. But I am praying everyday, every step I take now, with God's grace, will only lead to better things in life, particularly for my mum. She yearns to own a house, and I really hope I will get that for her soon.
And on top of all this, I really really want to be healthy. To have a long meaningful life, sharing every moment with my loved ones.
I know, outside of this cyber world,I speak brazenly, opposite of what I have just typed here. I am loud, those who knows me knows that. But my close friends know, I am just bullshitting. That is just crazy Siti talk.My idea of fun.This, however is the real me. Simple.
But I wonder, why can't my life be just that? Simple. Why is it so complicated? I know I should be contented with what I have now. And I am, I really do. It's just that I do hope sometimes, things would be simpler. That's all I ask for.
I know part of it is my fault. Hidup ni memang tak boleh tepuk sebelah tangan je.
I may not say the things I really want sometimes. I may hide a lot of myself sometimes.But I think my heart says it all. I just hope people can look beyond the words, or the lack of, and delve further into it.
All I really want is a simpler life. Just make it simple. Please.
I just want someone to hold me and say I understand you. And that they will be there for me no matter what. And not hurt me after lifting me so high up.
Hanim