I haven't been sleeping much. Pain was too unbearable. Painkillers are not working, even when I supplemented them painkillers the dentist gave me with the ones I bought at the sinseh. Hadn't been doing much work either, I just can't coz my mind is too focus on the pain. Haven't been fasting for the past 3 days too, which make me kinda guilty, coz I rarely skipped any days of fasting since God knows when. But I figure I really need the painkillers on a regular basis so I know God will forgive me. And it doesn't help the fact that yesterday my grandfather make up some stories again, this time round about me saw him counting his money and thus I tell my mother not to give him anymore money coz he has a lot of money now. He says all this with all the tearworks and whatnots. As if I did a big sin to him, of which it has never cross my mind except for the fact that I already told him that we will not be giving any money this Ramadan...since well it's puasa and he won't be going out to eat. So isn't it better to save the money. But no somehow in his mind, he managed to put that with his own theories and thus the birth of that ridiculous story. I know it's just the old age talking but sometimes it's really maddening and hurtful coz he really make it out to be such a great sin and he will throw tantrum and watnots as if what tricks his mind played on him really happens. And today, the cousin went on on another of his teenage rebel adventure and as promised, dear Kak Hanim caught him in the act. I told him never do anything stupid coz I will always catch him. But did he listen...Noooo..and everytime I promised him I will always catch him if he does anything stupid, I will eventually do. It's freaky sometimes.
I am such in a bad mood now. It's ridiculous. I need sleep. I need the pain to go away. I need to do work la for goodness sake but I just cant help it.
Its time like this I really need a good cry and get it out of my system
I just need you to be here.
And for goodness sake, leave me alone pain.
I NEED MY SLEEP AND MY SANITY
Hanim